MOVIE REVIEW: The Midnight Meat Train
Tim MatassaLeon won’t stop stalking a century-old serial killer called The Butcher. Plus, jars of pustules, eyeball-popping violence, and a big surprise at the end of the line for the Midnight Meat Train.
Movies
MOVIE REVIEW: The Land Before Time
Littlefoot faces tragedy while trying to avoid starvation. Plus, three horns never play with long necks, Spike just eats and sleeps, and Cera makes a strong case for most annoying kids’ character ever.
MOVIE REVIEW: X
Meet Pearl and Howard, two of the saddest psychos you’ll ever see. Plus, Mia Goth pulls double duty, Maxine won’t settle for a life she doesn’t deserve, and it’s all business to Wayne—as long as the camera is rolling.
MOVIE REVIEW: Ice Age
It’s Three Men and a Baby with prehistoric mammals. Plus, herds stick together, Diego plays a terrifying version of peekaboo, and we should all hope to have someone look at us the way Scrat looks at that acorn.
MOVIE REVIEW: Five Nights at Freddy’s
What could possibly go wrong at a kids pizzeria called Freddy Fazbear’s? Plus, Matthew Lillard makes everything better, and don’t take sleeping pills when surrounded by homicidal animatronics.
MOVIE REVIEW: The Menu
There’s a fine line between cooking with love and obsession. Plus, cheeseburgers inspire joy, s’mores are an assault on the human palate, and when you’re served a breadless bread plate, you’re being insulted.
MOVIE REVIEW: Smile
Once you see this smile, it’s too late. Plus, there’s only one way to rid yourself of this curse, but you’re not gonna like it…
MOVIE REVIEW: Barbarian
The stranger already inside her Airbnb is just the start of the misery. Plus, barbarians take many forms, don’t forget to measure the hidden tunnels before listing your rental property, and never ignore the red flags of a white knight.
MOVIE REVIEW: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
There’s a new director, a new Dumbledore, and a new artistic vision for the series. Plus, Lupin shines, the dementors are as scary as they need to be, and the Rat-Man nearly steals the show.
MOVIE REVIEW: Willow
An unlikely hero and a scoundrel with a heart of gold must protect a newborn princess from the evil queen. Plus, murderous hellhounds, two-headed monsters, and pig-men—maybe it’s good I didn’t see this when I was seven!