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Holiday Specials Marvel TV X-Men

TV REVIEW: X-Men (4.17) – Have Yourself a Morlock Little X-Mas

First Things First…

This episode originally aired as Episode 4.12.

I don’t remember the X-Men doing a Christmas episode. It’s cool that they did, I love Christmas shows. But… I don’t love the Morlocks. They wouldn’t have been my choice for this. I’ll keep an open mind, though.


4 Things I Like


4. Kitchen Wars

“Warm it up? You do not warm up such a meal! Gambit does not make TV dinners!”

Gambit

I barely even remember Gambit and Jean ever interacting. And I certainly don’t remember anything about them being good cooks. Yet here we are, with them at each other’s throats in the kitchen. Apparently Jean’s cooking is too bland, and Gambit insists on spicing things up—risking life and limb in the process. It’s a fun diversion in a fun, throwaway episode.

3. Professor X’s Pride and Happiness

“Storm, I don’t think I’ve had a happier Christmas. All of my X-Men together, with so much to be thankful for.”

Professor X

The Professor is always so serious about everything, and he’s always wound up about something—rightly so, usually. So it’s nice to see him get a chance to kick back and relax, enjoy the festivities, and soak it in like a proud parent. He’s so happy to have the whole team at the mansion for Christmas—but when some of them take their detour to the Morlocks’ tunnels, and Jubilee decides they should stay with them—he’s even prouder of them for spreading their cheer.

2. Wolverine Calls Out Storm

Storm gets it from all sides in this episode about her failures as leader of the Morlocks.

I’ll defend her up to a certain point—she basically fought for that honor because the Morlocks kidnapped Jean and Cyclops and wanted to use Cyclops as a glorified sperm donor, not because she wanted to be their leader.

But when she challenges Wolverine to have the courage to try to help save Leech’s life, he has every right to snap back. And snap back he does, telling Storm…

“He wouldn’t be dying if you looked after these people!”

1. Jubilee’s Christmas Joy and Wonder

“Think I have enough? Should I get some stuff for Christmas Eve dinner? Well, this is the first time I’ve ever had a real family at Christmas time! I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do!”

Jubilee

For once, Jubilee’s youth and pluck make her more endearing. It’s cute, how she’s so happy to have a real Christmas for the first time. It comes through as they decorate the tree, when they go shopping, and then in a more serious way when they help the Morlocks and she comforts Mariana.

She’s also the only one who has any positive effect on Wolverine. She even convinces him to join her and Storm for some last-minute shopping, pleading and calling him “Wolvie.” Eventually, he caves, saying…

“Kid, turn it off. I’d do better trying to fight Sabretooth.”

This is one of Jubilee’s best episodes.


2 Things I’m Mixed On


2. Storm Abdicates Power

“So, our glorious leader deigns to visit us after all this time. Is this Christmas charity? Or did you just come to watch a Morlock suffer?”

Callisto

Storm returning the mantle of power to Callisto is more than overdue. But I have to question how much of a difference it’s going to make.

Storm acts like she’s doing some noble act, but she’s been an absentee leader for ages. And Callisto acts like things would’ve been different for the Morlocks if she had never lost leadership to Storm in the first place.

But Callisto was still there all this time. Did she just stop caring what happened to her people once she was no longer in charge? And now that she has the official title back, she’s going to start acting like a leader again?

While this is definitely the right thing for Storm to do, the reality of the situation is that nothing is really changing, so acting like the Morlocks will suddenly have a better life seems foolish.

1. Humbug

“Christmas again. I gotta get out of here. All this good cheer is driving me nuts.”

Wolverine

Wolverine’s grumpiness about Christmas is to be expected. I would’ve been shocked if he was filled with Christmas spirit.

But his uncooperativeness and unwillingness to help the Morlocks is much more off-putting.

Right from the start, when Storm says they’ll help, Wolverine says…

“You can help. I ain’t no sewer rat babysitter.”

Of course, he does go with Storm and Jubilee down into the Morlocks’ tunnels. And they all see that Leech—a kid—is dying. Yet it still takes a lot of convincing for Wolverine to try to help.

It’s so out of character for him that even Jubilee says…

“It’s not like you not to help.”

Turns out, Wolverine has tried to use his blood to heal others before. And it’s worked a couple of times. But at least once, there were 20 people relying on him, and it didn’t work. And he has no idea why it worked in some cases but not in others.

In the end, it’s a perfectly good explanation for why he’s scared to try to help again. But at the same time, if he doesn’t help, the kid is guaranteed to die. I would’ve thought Wolverine would be the type to recognize that and just do what he has to do right away, without needing to be called out.


1 Thing I Don’t Like


1. Beast Does Nothing

Just a nitpick—they send for Beast to help save Leech’s life, but Wolverine handles the blood transfusion on his own. And Beast doesn’t understand the mystery of Wolverine’s blood any more than Wolverine does, so he wasn’t going to make a difference anyway.

And sure enough, this time Wolverine’s blood saves Leech’s life—no thanks to Beast.

The Review

67%

Not a great episode of the show, or a great Christmas show. But it’s fun, and cute. Jubilee really helps it feel more like an old-school, heartwarming Christmas special.

67%

Comments

  1. What I was surprised at was the hint that less than a year passed since series premiere (first X-Mas with Jubilee). And it’s not prequel due to having seen Morlocks in S3 premiere

  2. Yeah, that’s a good catch. It’s weird, because the fact that this series started in ’92, ran for five seasons, and led into X-Men ’97, made me think each season was supposed to be a year. If that were the case, this would more likely be Jubilee’s third or fourth Christmas with the team. Maybe just one of those things they weren’t thinking about at the time?

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