First Things First…
It seems this is almost universally thought of as the weakest book in the series. I’ve never sat down and figured out how I would rank all seven books, but I’ve loved this one from the first time I read it. Granted, I love every book in the series. But one thing I know for sure is that I’d rank this clearly ahead of Sorcerer’s Stone.
13 Things I Like
13. Filch’s Kwikspell letter
This is 100% a personal detail that I love. I make my living as a copywriter writing direct-response sales letters, and apparently the wizarding world also knows how effective this type of marketing is!
12. Typical Politician
Hearing about the issues the Ministry of Magic is dealing with gives us more world building. Some of their priorities right now are…
- Arthur Weasley being investigated because of the flying Ford Anglia, which causes the Ministry a ton of headaches when the Muggles who spotted it must have their memories altered…
- Arthur also trying to pass legislation in the form of a Muggle Protection Act, which goes along with one of the book’s major themes (more on that later)…
- And conducting raids on suspected dark wizards, which is why Lucius Malfoy negotiates with Mr. Borgin to sell off some “embarrassing” items.
But what I like most is that we see that their world has to deal with inept government, just like ours.
When we finally meet Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic, he knows Hagrid isn’t responsible for the attacks or for opening the Chamber of Secrets. But he has him arrested anyway and sends him to Azkaban just to show that he’s doing something. He cares more about perception and job security than getting it right. Hagrid is scared shitless of going to Azkaban, but Fudge isn’t swayed. When a trembling Hagrid asks where he’s being taken, Fudge wouldn’t meet his eyes. In fact, he couldn’t even say the word “Azkaban.”
11. The fire blazing in Dumbledore’s eyes
This is a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, but it’s the first time we hear Dumbledore described this way.
We know his resume — defeated Grindelwald, only one Voldemort ever feared, etc., etc. But to this point, we almost always see him as a kindly older man. Whip-smart and steady, but kindly — even fatherly. Never dangerous.
But things change when Fudge arrests Hagrid. Dumbledore remains calm as he expresses his full trust in Hagrid, but we’re also told…
“His blue eyes were full of a fire Harry had never seen before.”
The twinkle in his eyes that we’re familiar with is gone, and we’re shown that, no matter how kind and fair Dumbledore is, he is not someone to be trifled with.
10. The Burrow
We’re familiar with the magic at Hogwarts, but this is our first look at how witches and wizards live at home. There are so many details that bring the Burrow to life and make me enjoy it almost as much as Harry does…
There’s the clock that shows when it’s time to feed the chickens (and time to make tea, and when you’re late) … the garden that needs de-gnoming… the ghoul in the attic…
But my favorite part of this chapter is the end, when Harry comes into Ron’s room for the first time and realizes that everything in the room seemed to be “a violent shade of orange” and that every inch of “shabby wallpaper” is covered with posters of the Chudley Cannons.
It’s not often that Ron impresses Harry. But here, when Ron is “watching him almost nervously, as though waiting for his opinion” and worried that Harry won’t like it because it’s too small and run-down, Harry says simply, “This is the best house I’ve ever been in,” making Ron’s ears go pink. It’s a really sweet moment between the two of them, where nothing else needs to be said.
Introducing the Burrow is also a great way to get Harry away from the Dursleys quickly. We start with the obligatory chapters on Privet Drive. And they’re necessary because Dobby shows up and sets the plot in motion. But that’s about as much of the Dursleys as we need. Point made — Harry’s life away from Hogwarts sucks. Now we can move on.
9. Rise of the Lowly
Dobby annoys the shit out of me…
I know he’s beloved. He’s just not one of my favorites.
So with that out of the way…
House elves are a race of magical creature that are new to us in this book. They’re a clever creation in that they have powerful magic of their own but can’t really use it because they’re enslaved.
Looking at Dobby for most of the book, it’s easy to think of them as pathetic creatures. But when Harry tricks Lucius Malfoy into freeing Dobby at the end, Dobby totally wrecks Lucius, who seems to be a pretty powerful dark wizard in his own right. He sends Lucius crashing down a staircase, “landing in a crumpled heap on the landing below.” And when Lucius gets up and pulls out his wand, and Dobby threatens him and tells him to leave, it says, “Lucius Malfoy had no choice. With a last, incensed stare at the pair of them, he swung his cloak around him and hurried out of sight.”
Harry himself is a character who was nothing, but he’s risen to prominence. The rise of the lowly is a clear theme in the series so far. The house elves — especially Dobby — seem like they could wind up being the same way.
8. “The Smarmiest Bloke”
“Is Lockhart the smarmiest bloke you’ve ever met, or what?”
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Ron. Lockhart is a wonderful creation. He’s infuriating. But that’s what makes him work.
Ron, of all people, sees through him right away. Despite his many bestsellers telling tales of his exploits fighting the dark arts, it’s clear he’s a fraud. Even at the end of their first DADA lesson with him, when he unleashes pandemonium in the form of “cute” Cornish pixies and has to dive for safety under his own desk , Ron calls out the fact that he might not have done all the things he’s said he’s done in his books.
And Harry has a hell of a time dealing with his total lack of self-awareness …
Lockhart talks with Harry about not being a glory hound after Harry and Ron make their grand entrance into the Whomping Willow. He believes it was his own fault for giving Harry a taste for publicity when they had their photo op at Flourish and Blotts and says…
“… when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I’d say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven’t they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named! I know, I know — it’s not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly’s Most-Charming-Smile Award five times in a row, as I have — but it’s a start, Harry, it’s a start.”
And the day before the first Quidditch match of the season, he refers to Harry as a “useful” player and generously offers, “… if you ever feel the need for a little private training, don’t hesitate to ask. Always happy to pass on my expertise to less able players…”
The one thing I don’t get about Lockhart is that, if he knows he’s a fraud, why does he insist on trying stuff he obviously can’t do?
I mean, I get why someone as insecure as him would claim to have known all along where the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets is, because he assumes he’ll never have to prove it…
But when Harry breaks his arm in the match against Slytherin, doesn’t he realize he’s not going to be able to fix it? And that he’s only going to embarrass himself if he tries?
But man, is he fun to have around. He actually seems harmless — until he reveals he’s been using memory charms to make all these people forget their heroic exploits, so he can take credit for them in his books.
And he’s going to do the same to Harry and Ron — two children — except that Ron’s wand backfires.
His whimpering when he’s forced to tell them his secret and they force him down into the Chamber is just as much fun as his smarm. And knowing all the teachers hate him is even better. I love when they throw his words back in his face after Ginny has been taken, and they tell him they’ll leave the rescue operation up to him.
It says Lockhart “didn’t look remotely handsome anymore. His lip was trembling, and in the absence of his usually toothy grin, he looked weak-chinned and feeble.”
No one ever deserved to look that way more.
7. Unsung Hero
Everything Dumbledore tells Harry about phoenixes when Harry meets Fawkes on his burning day comes into play when Harry battles the Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets…
It’s Harry’s loyalty to Dumbledore that calls Fawkes to him in the first place. Fawkes’s tears heal Harry’s wound after the Basilisk lodges one of its fangs into Harry’s arm, saving his life. And he’s easily able to carry Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Lockhart out of the Chamber and back up into Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom.
And on top of all that, Fawkes does two more incredibly important things that help Harry kill the Basilisk…
He blinds it by pecking at its eyes. Without doing that, Harry wouldn’t have stood a chance because he was trying to fight it with his eyes closed.
And Fawkes brings the Sorting Hat, which Harry is able to — somehow, because he proves he’s a true Gryffindor — use to produce Godric Gryffindor’s sword.
Fawkes is a worthy pet for someone as good and powerful as Dumbledore. And he deserves more recognition than he gets for ending the nightmare of the Basilisk and saving Ginny’s and Harry’s lives.
6. Ice-Cold Lucius
The thing I love about Lucius as a villain is that, even though he’s clearly Draco’s father, they have distinct personalities. While Draco is hot-tempered and impetuous, Lucius is ice-cold. He’s slick with everything he does, whether it’s bullying the other school governors into suspending Dumbledore or insulting Arthur Weasley for being poor.
But it’s great to see the way he puts Draco in his place. The first line we ever hear from him is in Borgin and Burkes, when he shuts down Draco’s complaints about how much everyone loves Harry and all the special treatment he gets by saying, “You have told me this at least a dozen times already.”
When he’s talking about selling some of the items that might “embarrass” him if his house were raided by the Ministry, he also condescendingly references the rumored Muggle Protection Act, which he feels must be the work of “that flea-bitten, Muggle-loving fool Arthur Weasley …”
He even insults Arthur right to his daughter’s face when he “thrusts” Ginny’s secondhand Transfiguration book back into her hands, “eyes glittering with malice,” and says, “Here girl — take your book — it’s the best your father can give you —”
Draco has always struck me as harmless — someone who’s all talk but wouldn’t really do anything (although wishing for Hermione to be murdered may show that I gave him too much credit), but Lucius seems like a truly dangerous adversary.
5. “Follow the spiders”
Harry and Ron trekking into the Forbidden Forest, following a trail of spiders, is one of the most exciting and terrifying chapters in the first two books. I’ve always had a fear of spiders — especially big spiders — so that makes this even worse/better for me.
Some of the descriptions are horrifying, too, like this one when Harry and Ron get carried to the spiders’ hollow:
… the stars shone brightly onto the worst scene he had ever laid eyes on.
Spiders. Not tiny spiders like those surging over the leaves below. Spiders the size of carthorses, eight-eyed, eight-legged, black, hairy, gigantic. The massive specimen that was carrying Harry made its way down the steep slope toward a misty, domed web in the very center of the hollow, while its fellows closed in all around it, clicking their pincers excitedly at the sight of its load.
Throughout the whole scene, even while they’re talking with Aragog, the other spiders are always pressing in, making it that much more disconcerting, even for the reader.
But it’s not just the horror that makes this a great chapter. This is also where the mystery of Hagrid’s expulsion from Hogwarts — one of the original mysteries of the series — is solved.
And it all fits together. Because of course Hagrid, even at 13, would try to raise a monstrous spider inside the school.
This is also a good example of a surprising character delivering some important exposition. Aragog has a fascinating backstory — Hagrid getting him before he had hatched, taking care of him, finding him a wife. And also, being blamed for the death of a student after the Chamber of Secrets had been opened, and being believed to be Slytherin’s monster.
Aragog also adds even more tension to the search to figure out what the monster actually is. He tells Harry and Ron…
“The thing that lives in the castle is an ancient creature we spiders fear above all others. Well do I remember how I pleaded with Hagrid to let me go, when I sensed the beast moving around the school.”
If Aragog and his monstrous family fear this beast, that says more about it than anything else ever could.
4. The Riddle Reveal
After Tom Riddle’s memory emerges from the diary, we get a lot more exposition. Little do we know at the time that it’s coming from Lord Voldemort himself.
The diary is such a cool magical object, even if it is filled with surprisingly dark magic. Anyone who has ever written in a diary or journal would probably like the idea at some point of having it respond to you — so long as it’s not a sociopath.
It was also a brilliant idea of Riddle’s all those years ago to preserve his memory in his diary so that, one day in the future, it could be used to open the Chamber again.
But it’s chilling when Tom, who had seemed like a decent guy when he brought Harry into his memory but now seems super shady, reveals that he is the earliest version of Voldemort, before he underwent all his magical transformations. Using his wand to trace his name — Tom Marvolo Riddle — into the air and then rearrange them into “I am Lord Voldemort” has nice dramatic flair.
But it’s even more chilling for Harry to be standing there in front of this good-looking 16-year-old boy — barely older than himself, and to know what he’s going to turn into.
Add to that Riddle’s words showing how far gone he already was by 16, and the hatred he carried inside:
You see? It was a name I was already using at Hogwarts, to my most intimate friends only, of course. You think I was going to use my filthy Muggle father’s name forever? I, in whose veins runs the blood of Salazar Slytherin himself, through my mother’s side … No, Harry — I fashioned myself a new name, a name I knew wizards everywhere would one day fear to speak, when I had become the greatest sorcerer in the world!
Even though this isn’t the real version of Voldemort, it gives Harry (and us) our first look at the lengths he went to to become such a dark wizard.
And I find it fascinating that most people don’t know that he turned into Voldemort. Does Hagrid know, for example? Riddle’s the guy who got him expelled. Does he realize that’s Voldemort? Or do any of the other teachers who might’ve been there when he was a student?
3. The Chamber of Secrets
The first time I read this book, I immediately equated the Chamber of Secrets with the Temple of Doom from Indiana Jones because it’s such a dark, fantastical place. The lore about it is fascinating — Salazar Slytherin built it right under the other founders’ noses and put his monster in here, and only he or his heir (or another Parselmouth) could open it. This is a major reason why, if we ever get a TV series in this universe, my vote would be a series about the founders. The fallout of Slytherin’s fight with Gryffindor, the construction of the Chamber, and where the Basilisk even came from would be incredible.
But aside from its significance, everything about the physical structure of the Chamber is awesome. First, that it’s miles beneath the school, in a place where no one had ever been able to find it.
Harry’s first impression is to notice the “towering stone pillars entwined with more carved serpents to support a ceiling lost in darkness, casting long, black shadows through the odd, greenish gloom that filled the place.”
There’s also a “statue high as the Chamber itself,” with a face “ancient and monkeyish, with a long, thin beard that fell almost to the bottom of the wizard’s sweeping robes” — Salazar Slytherin himself. And the statue’s mouth actually opens when Riddle calls the Basilisk to release the beast.
And then, of course, there’s the fight inside the Chamber — from Harry’s confrontation with Tom while Ginny lies there, unconscious and dying, to Fawkes’s arrival to blind the Basilisk, to Harry killing the Basilisk with Godric Gryffindor’s sword but being mortally wounded at the same time, to Fawkes healing Harry, to Harry destroying the diary and the memory of Riddle.
It’s an incredible climax to the book. But sadly, with the monster killed, there doesn’t seem to be any need for the Chamber to come into play again.
2. Tackling Bigotry
Prejudice is at the heart of this story’s plot. It starts with Lucius looking down on Arthur for being welcoming and friendly toward Hermione’s Muggle parents. And it continues with Draco calling Hermione a Mudblood, introducing us to one of the wizarding world’s worst slurs.
From there, we get a lot of talk about purebloods, half-bloods, and Mudbloods, not to mention Muggles and even Squibs. It’s crazy to think that Salazar Slytherin, one of the founders of Hogwarts, was so evil. I mean, although I clearly disagree with his stance of only teaching magic to pure-blood families, I’m not surprised it’s a position some witches and wizards would take. I could see that causing a rift between him and the other founders. But to build the Chamber of Secrets at Hogwarts, right under their noses, and use it to house a monster whose purpose was to murder all the children he didn’t believe deserved to be taught magic — eh, that’s taking it a bit far.
But Lucius is the one who makes sure Ginny gets Riddle’s diary, kickstarting this chain of events. And Draco — even if he isn’t fully aware of his father’s role in this — literally says a couple of times that he hopes Hermione gets killed. It’s disgusting.
Interestingly, Voldemort himself is only a half-blood, not a pure-blood. But we discover the root of his prejudice, which is what galvanizes his followers, when Riddle says his Muggle father abandoned him before he was even born because he found out his wife was a witch.
Ron, amazingly, comes off looking really good here. He defends Hermione the second Malfoy calls her a Mudblood. And as he’s the only one of the three to grow up in the wizarding world, he explains to them the issue of purity of blood. And, like a true Weasley, he thinks it’s complete nonsense to care about something so insignificant. He even makes the great point of saying that, if witches and wizards hadn’t started marrying Muggles, they would’ve died off long ago.
1. Harry’s Identity Crisis
It’s a big deal in Sorcerer’s Stone when the Sorting Hat considers putting Harry in Slytherin. Some readers are convinced that the Hat had actually decided to put him in Slytherin, and that the only reason it doesn’t is because he asks not to go there. I’ve never read it that way, only that it was still weighing its decision. But Slytherin was clearly a distinct possibility for him.
Here, they double down on that as people wonder whether Harry might be the Heir of Slytherin. Making him a Parselmouth, and tying that to the scene from the zoo in Sorcerer’s Stone, when he talks to the boa constrictor, is brilliant planning.
I also love the explanation for how Harry came to be a Parselmouth — because it would feel like a ridiculous coincidence if the only two Parselmouths since Slytherin himself had been Riddle and Harry. But if Voldemort transferred some of his power into Harry unintentionally when he attacked him as a baby, that makes sense.
But anyway, the scene in Dumbledore’s office, when Harry tries on the Sorting Hat again but cuts it off as soon as it reiterates that he would’ve done well in Slytherin, shows just how lost he is over this.
In their debriefing at the end of the book, Dumbledore doesn’t shy away from this. He tells Harry, “You happen to have many qualities Salazar Slytherin prized in his hand-picked students. His own very rare gift, Parseltongue — resourcefulness — determination — a certain disregard for the rules.”
But he also delivers another of the series’ signature lines — “It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities,” — to show Harry that this is how he differs from Tom Riddle, and why he doesn’t belong in Slytherin. And as proof, he shows Harry that the sword he pulled out of the Sorting Hat to kill the Basilisk belonged to Godric Gryffidor. “Only a true Gryffindor could’ve pulled that out of the hat, Harry,” he tells him.
Yet I still love the idea that Harry could’ve belonged in Slytherin, which has been portrayed as rotten throughout. It’s a great way to highlight Harry’s flaws, before he’s able to overcome them and prove himself for another year. (And it’s a great way to highlight that Slytherin can actually have good witches and wizards, even if it never seems that way based on the ones we meet.)
1 Thing I’m Mixed About
1. Annoyances
Dobby … Lockhart … Moaning Myrtle … and Colin f’n Creevey …
That’s a lot of annoying characters to introduce in one book. Granted, I already talked about how much I like Lockhart, but that’s because he’s so over the top.
But I can’t stand Colin. I know he’s good-natured and just star-struck by Harry, but we all know someone like him. He lacks self-awareness just as much as Lockhart, but in a more realistic way that makes him more annoying.
Dobby has redeeming qualities, for sure. But as I mentioned, I still find him annoying. And I enjoy Myrtle, but she’s also annoying.
The fact that I only actively dislike one of these four is why it’s not in my dislike category. But this is too many characters who fit this mold to introduce in the same book.
4 Things I Don’t Like
4. The Jig Is Up?
Dobby goes through so much trouble to make Harry think his friends have forgotten him, to try to get him to stay away from Hogwarts and avoid the plot that’s about to unfold with the Chamber of Secrets.
Then, when Dobby shows up at the Dursleys’ to warn Harry and he hints that he knows Harry hasn’t gotten any letters from his friends, Harry picks up on it. Bu instead of trying to play it off, Dobby immediately gives up his whole summer’s worth of effort in executing this ruse and cops to everything.
And if he actually thinks Harry would agree to stay away from Hogwarts just to get those letters — well, that’s asinine.
Once Harry knows that Ron and Hermione (and even Hagrid) have been writing to him all summer, Dobby has lost his leverage. Not that his plan was going to work anyway, but still, Harry’s definitely not staying away now that he knows he wasn’t actually forgotten. Why is Dobby so quick to admit to this? Why even bring the letters to the Dursleys’ house?
3. “Farewell, FRIEND of Hagrid”
WTF?
Aragog tells Harry and Ron his history with Hagrid. And he says he’s never harmed any human in over 50 years of being alive. That’s out of respect for Hagrid, because he believes Hagrid is such a good man.
Yet, here come not just any humans, but actual friends of Hagrid… telling him Hagrid is in trouble… and he’s ready to just let his children kill and eat them?
If Aragog has forsaken human flesh his entire life no matter who it was because of his respect for Hagrid, then I don’t buy that he’s willing to sacrifice Hagrid’s friends, who are trying to help Hagrid.
This still could’ve played out roughly the same way — it could’ve been that Aragog wants to let them go so they can help Hagrid but his children are too frenzied over the fresh meat and disobey him. Then Aragog would help them escape to the car when it shows up.
To me, that’s an alternative that has just as much drama without having Aragog act completely contrary to what he just told us about himself.
2. No Questions for Myrtle?
In the real world, when someone is murdered, we don’t have the benefit of getting to question them during the investigation to ask who killed them. But in the situation 50 years earlier, you’ve got this catastrophe with the Chamber of Secrets being opened, which might’ve caused them to close the school, and Myrtle was killed in the bathroom.
Then, lo and behold, her ghost hangs around. But no one — not the old Headmaster Dippet, not Dumbledore, not anyone — thought to ask her about it?
Granted, when Harry puts together the fact that she was the victim from 50 years ago, and he asks her, she doesn’t have too much information. She doesn’t know who — or what — killed her. But even the clue about the eyes, and the direction she saw them in, might come in handy. I mean, they help Harry and Ron find the entrance on the sink.
1. Terrible Timing
I can buy Harry, along with Ron and Hermione, being the ones who stumble upon Mrs. Norris hanging from the ceiling, because they’re coming up from the Deathday party while the rest of the school is in the Great Hall at the Halloween feast.
But then, while a lot of people already suspect Harry is the Heir of Slytherin, he goes to the library, tells a group of Hufflepuffs he’s looking for Justin so he can explain what happened with the snake, hears that Justin is hiding from him, then leaves the library and — by himself — finds Justin’s petrified body, along with Nearly-Headless Nick.
Now, it doesn’t take long for Dumbledore to say he doesn’t suspect Harry. And Hagrid is able to give him an alibi. But this seems like one of those overly coincidental things that we just accept. There must’ve been a better way for Justin to be discovered that doesn’t involve Harry having the worst possible timing.
Final Thoughts
Similar to Sorcerer’s Stone, this book feels more like a standalone adventure. It builds on the world Rowling created there, but there’s a self-contained plot that starts and is resolved. So I can understand why, in hindsight, it feels less weighty than the later books.
That said, it’s a ton of fun. The Chamber always made me think of the Temple of Doom — just this really cool, badass fictional place. There are crazy, scary monsters. A couple of big reveals — Harry is a Parselmouth who took in some of Voldemort’s qualities, and Voldemort was once a brilliant Hogwarts student named Tom Riddle. And the first major mystery is solved — looking back on the whole series, I think we forget how riveting the mystery of Hagrid’s past, and why he was expelled, was. But that’s solved here, and it doesn’t disappoint.
Tim Matassa
